Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

@LeavingFatville is a Twitter personality I just adore. And of course, she has a blog too. She recently posted about feeling all knocked down over a recent weight gain. In blogger-confessional mode, she came clean about letting circumstances get the best of her and “piling fried chicken on my plate like it’s going out of style.”

This was my response to that post:

So, I have the answer for you. It’s hard because you’ve already decided that you are not a success. It’s hard because you’ve decided it is hard.

Every month I say “I don’t lose weight the week I have my period”. And guess what? I don’t lose weight the week of my period. My period rolls around, and since I’ve already decided that I’m not going to lose weight, it’s perfectly reasonable to eat 2 bags of M&Ms. Since I’m not going to lose weight anyway, yeah, I’ll have thirds on pasta tonight. I’ve already made the choice so all of my behavior AND my circumstances fall in line with that.

Yeah, so you had a bad week. Stuff happened, and you already have this very comfortable set of behaviors and thoughts in place to fall back on. So that’s what you do. And that’s what you will do until you make the choice to do something else. And it is as easy as making a choice, like choosing between red socks or blue socks.

Here’s the kicker that will twist your noodle – there’s nothing wrong.

There’s nothing wrong with making choices that lead to a 5lb gain. Those choices, behaviors and thoughts that got you to a gain are all perfectly OK. There’s nothing wrong with gaining 5lbs. Nothing. The reason you feel its wrong and hard and all the other negative adjectives you can come up with is because you’re comparing your actual real present with fictional story doesn’t exist.

You are who you are right at this very second, and that person is perfect in this very second. The next second is an opportunity for you to choose who you want to be. So who are you going to choose?

It all comes down to choice. A choice about who we are in our lives. And there’s nothing inherently wrong about our choices AND we can always choose something different.

So when Mother Nature visits, and I choose to be crappy and miserable and drown in chocolate, there’s nothing wrong with that, there’s nothing inherently “BAD” about it.

It’s not wrong AND it’s not productive given my long term goals. OK, get that — It’s not wrong AND it’s not productive.

LeavingFatville wrote “I’m stepping on the scale for the sheer gluttony of making myself see how badly I’m treating myself” and she tagged this with “Pity Party”. That just about made me want to cry (or slap her silly but seeing as there’s a country between us, that’s not realistic). She had an unsatisfying week and gained weight. There’s nothing to beat yourself up over. When you make choices that are no longer satisfying, guess what? MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES!

I’m about a week or so away from Mother Nature’s little visit and I choose to make different choices this month. I might still fall into chocolate and gain weight, but it will be a choice that I make knowing it has consequences. I choose how my life is going to go.

What do you choose?

Majestically, Mother Nature fingers loose from her GrabBag ‘o Fate, the voodoo doll in the shape of Fit Girl. Teasing a stinging nettle from her living crown, Mother Nature whispers “The scales must balance Little One. You owe me one week a month as payment for all the gifts I give you.”

Hoovering the thorn above Fit Girl’s heart – “You can cry and watch sappy romantic comedies in bed.”

Delicately tapping Fit Girl’s head she coos “You can unleash your own special brand of hell on your family and friends and maybe even start smoking again”

Tracing that nettle seductively over Fit Girl’s tummy, she intones “Or you can crave sweets and salts with the insatiable fury of a tornado”.

Fat Girl dons her acolyte toga and begins a ritualistic chant known oh so well — “Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. Cookies.”

Weepy, Fit Girl nods her acquiescence. Jabbing the nettle right into her tummy, Mother Nature proclaims “Then it is so”.

Lighten bolts rain down upon Fat Girl, and her cackles of maniacal laughter echo throughout the land.

Yeah, I got my period and the pressure of eating well, exercising, quitting smoking, bleeding and generally feeling crappy AND not wanting to take that out on those around me just pushed my inner Fat Girl over the edge and I ate cookies. I gave myself a raging sugar headache and I’m still recovering. Hopefully a run at the gym and some weights will help me sort it out. We’ll see.

My run yesterday was not super great. It was hot. VERY hot and I was not properly hydrated. By Mile 1, my mouth was already pasty and I decided not to push things too hard and walk for a bit. Today’s another day right??

Yesterday I ran 2.76miles in 33:01 at a pace of 11’56” burning 393 calories.