Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

I’m starting a new trend… drum roll… May I present… Running Jammies!!

Yeah, that’s right, I slept in my running gear last night. Capri yoga pants, red sports bra, pink short sleeve top but not my socks or shoes. Those were right next to my bed with my iPod. I figure at 5am if I don’t have to worry about finding my gear to put on… if I ALREADY have it on, that will shave a few minutes off my morning and help this 5am running thing work. So All hail Running Jammies!

A longer post is coming, but I wanted to get this up before my day gets going. Here is my first “long” half marathon training run. 4 miles and I’m on my way! Tons of thoughts running thru my head like “Man, I have to get faster” and “Holy crap, I ran 4 miles” and “Boy, my Nike+ is way off.” More on all that later. Happy running people!

Oh yeah, and I lost 4 lbs at Weight Watchers today. A good start to a good day.

Sex While Running

Yeah, that’s right. I’m going there because that’s how I roll.

Mom, Dad, assorted family members, sisters of St. Dominic, and those under 18, please stop reading right now because it is only going to a) make you blush b) send me to hell c) provide the juice for long silences at the next family reunion.

So I’m out on a 3 mile run. Shouldn’t be too hard right? But today for some reason, I am struggling. Just over a mile to go and every thing is telling me to take the shortcut home or to walk the rest of the way. Fat Girl is screaming “Dear God. Stop the Ride. I wanna get off! I wanna go home!”

Fit Girl is even getting a little condescending patting me on the mental shoulder saying “It’s OK if you want to walk.”

Screw that man! I’m a runner and I’m gonna run!

Like a Running Ninja, I start whipping out every tip and trick and mental weapon tucked in the pockets of my ninja jammies.

Tactic 1: Release the Dory!! I sing “just keep swimming” ala Dory from Finding Nemo in my head over and over and over. It’s rhythmic, I can match foot strikes to the beat and it’s bound to make me smile.

FAILURE

Tactic 2: Open a can of Zen whoopass from ChiRunning. Get into your body. Lean into your run. Watch your breath. Inhale 2 steps. Exhale 3. Inhale. Exhale. In. Ex.

BORING! FAIL!!!

Tactic 47B: Bust a move on Lady Gaga. If you can’t get your mojo going to “Bad Romance” there’s something seriously wrong.

Crap.

There’s something seriously wrong, because even the Gaga can’t get me going.

The mental weapon of last resort – THE SEX.

I’ve got a mile to go and there’s nothing else to do but distract myself for the next 13 minutes than a steamy sex fantasy. Yeah, that’s right, I think about sex while running.

Sometimes it’s the outlandish campy classics, like “Oh Professor, is there any way I can get extra credit? I really need to pass your class”

Sometimes I’ll focus on someone I met in passing at  the guy on the train with the purple tie and the really big feet. Please feel free to leave your own raunchy Big Foot comment.

Sometimes it’s a little risque like that young NYPD beat cop I met a few months ago all young, and fresh and fit. NY’s Finest do come complete with their own handcuffs you know. Just sayin’.

And sometimes, I construct the phantom image of the most perfect man. Tall, educated, creative, powerful, well traveled, with eyes so blue it’s like a tsunami washing through you. He’s a runner too, natch. We’re out on a run through the countryside, racing across a field of wild flowers. He let’s me win, natch, cause he’s just that kind of guy, natch. Congratulatory kiss turns into frisky business which turns into nakedness. (I always fast forward through the getting naked part because no matter how you play it, getting out of a sweaty sports bra is just not sexy and hey, it’s my fantasy right? I can magic the sweaty clothes away like Hermonie in my own private Naughty Harry Potter. Speaking of – Naughty HP Triva Break – The character Oliver Wood was played by Sean Biggerstaff. Get it. Wood is a Biggerstaff.)

Wait, what? Where was I? See what I mean, thinking about the sex even distracted me from my own post, that last mile just flew by! And the cold shower I took when I got home was fantastic.

Back to running 3 miles even on the dreaded treadmill! I guess I got tired near the end huh?

So I got home last night at around 5pm. Weird day, won’t go into it, it was just, well, weird. The day was nice, sunny and warm. Well “warm” when you still have 3 foot piles of snow in your drive. Dinner was at least 40 minutes away. I could look at cute puppies. I could check in with developments in Egypt. I could nap.

What did I do? I ran.

I just through on running clothes, grabbed my iPod and set it for a half hour run. I didn’t fuss about the right socks, or the right shirt. I didn’t make an ordeal about finding gloves and a hat. Yup that’s right, I ran in my opera length hand knit gloves. I just ran. It was above 40degrees. No ice on the roads. Little puddles, and the light was fading fast.

I just ran.

And it was good. I got a half block from home and decided to walk as a cool down. This rolling wave of euphoria started at my feet and rolled up to my head. It was very similar in sensation to a head rush you get from smoking. And it was good.

I hope the weather holds today so I can get out there after work.

I lost my iPod again. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been working out. My crazy inner Fat Girl will gladly tell you, probably for hours, about all the hard work that’s been going on. Without my iPod, I seem to lack the ability or the desire, to keep tabs on what I’m doing.

See, I run Nike+ on my iPod. So here’s now it works – There’s a fat quarter sized disk in my running shoe that communicates to my iPod. I can then up load the statistics from my run to Nike+ website that allows you to see your progress with just a click. Then I can link that to Daily Mile, which is like the facebook of running. Daily Mile and Nike+ will both link to twitter. Without my iPod, I’d have to manually enter all that information and yeah, ok, I’m kind of lazy.

All that data entry just seems daunting. I get that way about tracking what I eat too. I’m a Weight Watcher’s member and the program only works if you keep track of what you eat. I get into lazy moments, just like with tracking my exercise, where I count points in my head and don’t bother to write it down. And we all know who lives in my head. Do you really think Fat Girl is good at math when chocolate is on the line??

There’s kind of a bigger issue here. I’m totally capable of being accountable and writing all this stuff down, but I don’t. Why is that? Laziness? It’s an interesting question

I got into a brief twitter conversation with @FatGirlvsWorld about tracking mileage run for her OctoberGoingTheDistance challenge. I just couldn’t get myself motivated to track the miles I ran for a whole month. I just seem to lack the ability, especially without my easy-fix technology, to keep track of anything for a month. She asked me why? Why do I give up on myself “You have come too far to do that anymore.”

That really stuck with me. I have come really far. I’ve lost 89lbs over the past handful of years. I’m feeling stronger and more fit than I ever have in my life.

Why is tracking food and exercise such a huge issue?

I think what it comes down to is that if I have a written record of exactly what I’m doing and have done, there’s no one to blame for failure but myself.

It’s taken me 10 months to lose 15lbs.

I think the main reason for that is this accountability and tracking issue. If I don’t know exactly what’s going on, I really can’t blame myself right? Well, that changes today.

Oh yeah, by the way, I found my iPod.

Fat Girl is running down the street, arms flailing, screaming “KING OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD!! Look Ma, no hands! That’s right, check out my butt! Thin ankles! Thin ankles! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

That right sportsfans, Fat Girl is high on endorphins. And it’s a scary scary world.

I’m a week and a half into the Finish Strong Training program at Big Al’s Gym. Since starting, I’ve done an hour long hard spin class to test for my heart rate threshold, 2 spin classes, 3 pilates classes, 1 weight class, 1 terrible step class, and I’ve run/walked 18.25 miles. And I feel fantastic. And Fat Girl feels fantastic.

My run today was great. I did 3miles in 37:44 at a pace of 12’51″. My legs felt light and airy and I could have run forever. As a matter of fact, I pushed hard the last three blocks, stopped my ipod, then went on for another mile or so at a nice relaxed pace. I feel like a king of the world.

So, my runs as of late have been sort of like “pleasure runs”. I’m out touring the neighbood, rocking out on my iPod and just generally enjoying myself. That’s awesome right? Except I’m forgetting that running is exercise and you’re supposed to be exerting yourself.

On my run yesterday, I noticed two things.

1. My butt bruise did not interfear with the mechanics of running, BUT it was painful, like a big hand of God pinching my bottom REALLY hard with each foot strike and THAT was distracting.
2. I was barely out of breath while running and was going way easy on myself.

My 3 mile loop runs have been stuck at between 40 and 43 minutes. I’ve been trying to figure out how to run faster, how to pick up your pace and work harder. When I make a conscious effort to do that, I don’t know what happens, but it doesn’t work. I feel like I can go faster for about as long as I can concentrate and then when another goofy thought pops into my head, all that effort stops.

I don’t think I figured it out, but for what ever reason, my body just moved faster today. I felt a physical change in my form. I felt myself being taller and longer, leaning into my runs ala ChiRunning. I felt my core engage and pull my legs up. How do I know my core was doing the heavy lifting? With about 3/4 mile to go, I felt my abs giving out. I wanted to hunch into myself and slouch. It was a bit of a struggle to keep that form up for the rest of the run.

I ran 2.82 miles (which is actually 3.1 but Nike+ is wacky like that) in 36:56 at a pace of 13’06″ per mile burning 401 calories. That’s what, like 5 minutes faster than my last 3 mile loop? AND I wasn’t exhausted or burnt out or out of gas or anything.

My Nike Flight headphones fizzled on my run today! OH NOOOOOOO! I love these headphones. I mean, I *heart* them long time. They go behind the neck with the cord hanging down back so it doesn’t get in your way at all while you’re running.

Wait, let me back up. I LOVE Nike Flight headphones for running. I hate using them any other time. I run with my hair in a pony tail. These headphones don’t work for me if I have my hair down all girly like. This is my third pair of Nike Flight headphones in three years. That’s not a particularly good track record and is the reason for most of bad reviews Nike Flight gets. They fit me great however and since it takes me FOREVER to decide to buy something new, I might just have to stick with them

Unless Dear Readers, you want to recommend more awesome headphones??

ACKKKKK Now my iPod is telling me there are no saved Nike+ workouts!! This is not a good Nike Day!

So I forgot to have breakfast again. I don’t know what’s up with that. Going on like two weeks now, I’ve just totally fallen out of the breakfast habit. On days I’m not working, I get up, do email and twitter for a while, write a bit then decide it’s time for a run. Halfway into my run, I’ll realize that I skipped breakfast and I’m running out of gas. I come home and down a smoothie. Now it’s almost lunch time and my food gets all out of whack for the day.

I really need to work on getting a plan together and reclaim breakfast time!

Anyway, I did make it out for a run and my legs felt awful heavy again. Could be the no breakfast thing. Could be it’s hot. Could be that I just don’t know how to push myself to go harder. I’m just going to do my little three mile loop at whatever pace for a few more days and then try and push harder. Fat Girls is screaming of course that she can’t go any faster or harder. Ha! We’ll see who wins this battle!

Today I ran 3.5 miles in 42:22 at a pace of 12’09″ burning 497 calories.