Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

If I just get one thing out of this Finish Strong Training program is that you don’t have to go hard every day. “Active recovery” is a very important tool in the fitness toolbox. I’m going to take a really hard spin class tonight so I decided to just go for a stroll to get a cup of coffee. And I totally felt like a kid again, jumping through giant piles of leaves, hearing that simple, comforting crinkling sound of leaves crushing under your feet. I guess a simple walk can do wonders for you!

I had my very on Julius Ceasar moment this week claiming victory over myself. I came to the gym, I saw myself for who I could be, and I conquered just a wee bit of the Crazy Fat Girl that lives in my head.

I’ve been taking Pilates on and off for a couple of months now. I adore it for stretching muscles much abused by my recent stint in spin class for the Finish Strong program. And in every Pilates class, I have dreaded the Roll ups where you lay all stretched out and peel yourself off the floor to touch your toes. It has always served as a tangible reminder that my core muscles suck and I’m way out of shape. I could never peel myself off the floor, my feet always come up, I have to fling my arms forward to get momentum going to pull myself up. It’s just always tough, but I always struggle through, knowing one day I’ll get there and it won’t be a terrible struggle.

A Vici moment came after a rough spin class (more on that in a sec, hang with me!). My hamstrings have been way tight for the past two weeks so I’ve been focusing on doing extra stretching after spin classes and running. I was stretched out on the floor, enjoying a whole body yawn and while laying there, I figured I’d struggle through a few roll ups just to get a wee bit of core work in. I gotta sit up anyway, might as well roll up!

I crunch in my abs and boom, feet never leaving the floor, I am sitting up. I did a roll up with very little effort!!!! So of course I had to to 10 more dripping in excitement that I could do this stupid little exercise that has completely vexed me for months. I claim victory over Pilates (at least for the time being!)

My victory roll ups came right after a spin class that almost brought me to tears.

It was a hard class, with a sprinting hill climb to finish off. No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” was vibrating off the mirrors of the studio.

Jamie, my favorite spin instructor pushed us with her perky voice.

Take these pink ribbons off my eyes

She kept shouting- “you’re almost there”

So many reasons for me to run and hide

“You’re almost at the top.”

I’m just a girl, take a good look at me

“Visualize that mountain in your head.”

What I’ve succumbed to is making me numb

“Look yourself down in the mirror and fight to the top.”

I’ve had it up to here!

And I saw that mountain climb in my head. I saw myself, the sleek, fit, happy and beautiful self standing at the top on that mountain just waiting for me to get there, all dolled up in a killer dress and heels that would make my Nana swoon. Tina Turner legs and Michelle Obama guns. And in that moment, I knew that I can get there. I knew that it was all possible.

And in that moment, the Crazy Fat Girl that lives in my head knew it too. Crazy Fat Girl knew that all the drama she throws out hides a fear that it isn’t possible, that she’ll get almost to the top and won’t be able to make it. The fear of the “I told you so”, the fear of failure. And the fear of success. In that moment of fearlessness, Fat Girl, Fit Girl and me because one, and we cranked the resistance knob just a bit more and sprinted to the top of the hill and high-fived ourselves for the ride back down.

Vici baby vici.

Fat Girl is running down the street, arms flailing, screaming “KING OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD!! Look Ma, no hands! That’s right, check out my butt! Thin ankles! Thin ankles! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

That right sportsfans, Fat Girl is high on endorphins. And it’s a scary scary world.

I’m a week and a half into the Finish Strong Training program at Big Al’s Gym. Since starting, I’ve done an hour long hard spin class to test for my heart rate threshold, 2 spin classes, 3 pilates classes, 1 weight class, 1 terrible step class, and I’ve run/walked 18.25 miles. And I feel fantastic. And Fat Girl feels fantastic.

My run today was great. I did 3miles in 37:44 at a pace of 12’51″. My legs felt light and airy and I could have run forever. As a matter of fact, I pushed hard the last three blocks, stopped my ipod, then went on for another mile or so at a nice relaxed pace. I feel like a king of the world.

My gym is offering this really interesting 12 week challenge called Finish Strong. It combines personal training, nutrition, small and group fitness classes. The gym has offered these types of training challenges before but what made me sign up is that the course is designed to teach you how to essentially be your own trainer. It’s supposed to teach you how to train in your target heart zones and whatnot.

So what have I learned in the first three days of the program? Fat Girl might run, but she sure is damn weak. My core strength sucks and I have the upper body strength of a small rodent. I got a long way to go. And that’s ok right as this is a journey I’m only half way through.

My heaviest was 274lbs back around 2000-ish. Fat Girl has obliated much evidence from that time but I did manage to find one photo where I was probably over 250.

Fat Girl in 2005-ish

This is me at my sister’s wedding last year, circa 220.

Fat Maid of Honor

Here’s the same dress minus 20lbs.

Dress Redo

And this the Before picture they took at the start of the Finish Strong program.

194 - 80lbs down.

The other cool thing about this program is that they do a whole work up on where you are right now. And I do love me some good stats and numbers to look at.

Weight: 194

Fat: 63.8lbs – 33.2%

Lean Body Mass: 128.2lbs – 66.8%

BMI: 28.35

Basal Metabolic Rage: 1746kCal

Daily Energy Expenditure 2793kCal

Chest: 41.5in

Waist: 40.25

Hips: 45

Thigh: 22

Bicep: 12.5

AND they do some physical fitness testing –

Plank on toes and elbows: 54 seconds

Push ups – 6

Sit and Reach: 19 inches

Balance on one foot: 2mins 45sec.

What does all this mean? Nothing really. It’s just numbers that don’t really tell me anything. It is a starting place, so I know where the finish line is.