Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

FitGirl: What are you doing?

FatGirl: Eating cake! Look, it’s zero points

FitGirl: No cake is zero points.

FatGirl: Look. Pinterest says it’s ZERO points. It’s a Zero Point Cake.  You make it in a MUG. In the MICROWAVE. In 1 MINUTE. I could eat a dozen of these suckers.

FitGirl: (looking at three cake crusted mugs on the counter) Um, even if it is zero points, which it’s not, having three of them is not zero points.

FatGirl: OMG can’t you do math? ZERO times THREE is ZERO. It’s ZERO point cake. Pinterest said so.

So maybe you’ve seen this pin floating around on Pinterest for the ZERO point mug cake.

Don’t believe everything you pin.

I hate to break the news, it’s not zero points. How do I know? I got a little funky with a spreadsheet.

The info on the pin says:

IT’S 0 POINTS PLUS!! Genius! 1-2-3 Cake. You need 2 boxes of cake mix. 1 can be any flavor you prefer, but the other MUST be Angel Food cake mix. Mix them together (shake them in a big ziploc bag or stir them together in a big bowl). Then simply store the mixture in an airtight container until you get the urge for dessert. Then just put 3 tablespoons of the dry mixture in a big coffee mug and stir in 2 tablespoons of water. Microwave it for one minute

So that’s what I did, I mixed a Betty Crocker Angel Food Cake Mix with a Betty Crocker Devil Food Cake Mix and carefully weighed out three tablespoons in grams. It came out to 30 grams per serving.

Then since a serving of each cake did not match the servings in the Mug Cake, I totaled up the boxes, added them together and divided it into 30 gram servings to figure out the total nutritional values.

Then I put those into the Points calculator, and shaazam – 3 Points Plus.

So, this is a good lesson in not believing what you pin.

Now, I’m not knocking this cake. It’s simple, tasty, and hits the spot if you need just a little chocolate to get you though the night. I totally recommend having it on hand because it’s not like a bag of cookies, that remain open and just seem to talk to you late at night. Since you actually have to cook it, you’re lest apt to have say 4 than you might with an open bag of cookies.

TIP: only cook it for 45 seconds. 1 minute is WAY too long. Your microwave may vary, but keep an eye on it, once the top stops bubbling and it looks dry and just begins to pull away from the edge of the mug, it’s done, get it out of there. Also, for one more point, add a teaspoon of peanut butter, it makes it ever so rich.

OH and I’ve also used left over coffee instead of water, that will boost the chocolate flavor just a bit.

ouch

George Takei posted this picture on Facebook with the caption “Live the epic. Even if it means sliding flat on your face.”

Obviously, since I went through the trouble of coping the image and writing this post, there’s something there that’s stuck with me.

I feel like I’ve fallen down, and fallen down BIG TIME, making a giant ass out of myself in the process. I feel hurt, and bruised (and a little abused) and all embarrassed and I wanna take my little red ball and go home and hide in a blanket fort. So there.

Here’s the truth – my business is struggling, I’m turning 40 and I’m single, and most horribly of all, I’ve gained 30lbs and I’m a running blogger who isn’t running.

There. I said it.

I’ve been hanging my head and hiding out.

But here’s also the truth – I’m the only one who can get myself out of this.

So I fell on my face and all the other little Pandas are laughing at me. Now I could go sulk, like I’ve been doing, so I could go climb that slide again and again and again until I can pull of a triple axle dismount.

So now it’s time to pull on my big girl panties and do what I know works and stop feeling sorry for myself and live the epic.

Do you ever feel like your Crazy Inner FatGirl is using any means possible to get her message through?

Toast is just a delivery system for Butter

Yes, I actually had this conversation with myself last night. Butter did not win.

Ciaté Caviar Manicure

Pinterest is kind of evil. I has me totally obsessed with nail art. Sparkly, funky painted nails. I’m not terribly girly and I can’t explain why nail at has caught my fancy but it has.

I should be getting ready for a run, but noooooooooo I’m pinning stuff to my “Nail Me” board. Must.Close.Pinterest.Now.

Pinterest is Evil. But I do have pretty nails!

Don't hate me because I don't like it

CrazyInnerFatGirl: Nibble, nibble, grimace. Sip, slurp, blech.

VoiceOfReasonFitGirl: What are you doing?

FatGirl: Enjoying a Pumpkin Spice Latte and pumpkin spiced muffin.

Grimace, blech

FitGirl: Um, you don’t actually seem to be “enjoying” it. Air quotes.

FatGirl: What are you insane? Of course I’m enjoying it. It’s Fall. This is the only time you can get Pumpkin Spice stuff. If you don’t enjoy it now, it goes away and you can never never ever have it again.

Grimice, blech

FatGirl: Besides all the cool kids are doing it.

FitGirl: Do you actually like pumpkin Spice?

FatGirl: What are you insane? Of course I like it. It’s Fall. This is the only time you can get Pumpkin Spice stuff. If you don’t enjoy it now, it goes away and you can never never EVER have it again.

Grimice, blech

FitGirl: Just smile and nod.

See, here’s the thing. I don’t really like “Pumpkin Spice”, especially in my coffee. For all that is good and holy, please stop putting weird things in coffee, like Blueberry flavor. Seriously, that breaks laws of physics. I’m sure of it! And yet, I feel compelled to jump on the pumpkin spice bandwagon every fall hoping that this is the year I’ll fall in love with it.

And Pinterest is not helping. I found a pin somewhere about combining a package of sugar-free pudding, a can of pumpkin, cinnamon, and a tub of Cool-whip and Tadaaaaa “Best dessert eva!” “Only 2 WW points” and 740,733 pins later, it has to be good. So I tried it…

Simple to make…

Pumpkin Spiced Fluff

Just mix pudding with the pumpkin… fold in the Cool-Whip (Yeah, OK, hush, I know that stuff is the devil and barely qualifies as “food” but ya can’t fault a girl for liking a big ole spoonful now and again)

Pudding + Pumpkin + Cool Whip is meh

Graham cracker added flair…

Fluff + graham cracker still meh

and meh.

It was OK, I guess, if you actually LIKE pumpkin spice stuff. It was creamy, dense, just sweet enough. And I don’t, I just don’t like pumpkin spice. And I keep forgetting that I don’t like it and  eat it anyway. I know it’s a food fad with heavy marketing around it and boy does the marketing work. I feel like I’m somehow left out because I just don’t love pumpkin spice.

In a former lifetime, I aspired to be a chef. See, I love cooking and at one of those pivot points of life, I swiveled towards professional cooking. But then, well, life stepped in and well, that didn’t happen (translation – I broke my arm making hauling around 40lb bags of potatoes a thing of the past.) Anyhoo….

I’ve been in a food funk. I’m just not interested in cooking. Oh believe me, I’m interested in the eating and boy, is my crazy inner FatGirl LOVING the fact that I eating like a stoner. FatGirl agrees that a perfectly acceptable dinner could be a spoon, a jar of peanut butter and a bag of chocolate chips. Yeah, I had that for dinner last week, don’t hate.

But I actually whipped out the pots and pans (three to be exact) and I didn’t even have to use my Fancy Knife Skills. Or should I say “skillz” ‘cuz I gots me some mad knife skillz… pause for laughter… wait, the only one who might even chuckle at that is Lil Sis because of that Secret Sister Twin Language thing which her husband likes to point out is meaningless considering we are not twins… but I digress… again…

Anyway, I got to cooking up a restaurant quality meal and you can too, in about 20 minutes life a pro, or almost a pro, or sort-of-wanted-to-be-once pro!

Seared Tuna Steaks with Brown Rice and Sauteed Baby Squash

Hey look! I can cook!

You’ll need:

• some quick cook brown rice (I don’t remember the kind I used but it boiled for 10 minutes)
• a pot to cook the rice in.
• a tuna steak (on sale at Trader Joes!)
• a fry pan for the tuna
• baby zucchinni squash
• some olive oil, salt and pepper
• a bit more olive oil, salt, pepper and maybe some butter if you’re feeling indulgent
• a fry pan for the squash

Now go!

Get the rice ready to go, measure the water and what not and get it on the stove. Now, put the fry pan you want to cook the tuna in on the stove on HIGH heat. You want it SCREAMING HOT.

Now your tuna pan should be nice and hot. How do you know if its hot enough? Hold you hand about 2 inches over the pan, if you snatch it away quick, its hot enough.

Put your tuna steak in the pan and for the love of all that is good and delicious, don’t move it! If the pan is SUPER hot it will sear and not stick. Set the timer for 2 minutes. Yup its just 2 minutes a side. It can be rare in the middle… This is a quality tuna steak not a can of tuna fish. When the timer beeps, flip it. If it sticks to the pan, don’t force it, count to 10 and try again, and 10 again. Flip and set the timer for 2 more minutes.

You are shaking the pan with the baby squash right?

Just keep shaking the pan!

Right now, if you’re feeling indulgent, toss it about a teaspoon of butter to the squash for richness. Now, if you notice, your rice should be just about done. And the tuna should be just about done, and well gosh, the baby squash is just about done too!

And that’s how a chef gets everything on the plate at the same time!

Fitbloggin’12 was last weekend. There was great people, great sponsors, great food, but it was kind of a weird weekend for me.

I'm angry, who knew!

First of all, I was presenting on building your brand. So I was nervous, and feeling unprepared. I missed pretty much the first day because I was fretting over my presentation. When it was over – whew – I could relax and do the conference thing.

FitBloggin’ is amazing because of the people who attend. It’s kind of like summer camp with out S’mores. I feel like I didn’t meet as many people this year as I did last year. But that’s a different blog post.

So the presentation went well, I chatted, hugged, laughed… and then…

Then came Tara’s panel “When you have a lot to lose” and I kind of lost it a bit. See, here’s the truth – I’m 30lbs heavier than I was this time last year.

Crap.

What do you do as a fitness and weight loss blogger when you are getting fat again? I got all emotional and messy. It wasn’t until that panel and a conversation with PinkyPie (AKA Renee) that I realized I’m angry.

I’m angry at myself that I have to do this all over again.

I’m angry that I let the pounds creep back on.

I’m angry that my clothes don’t fit.

And god help me if one more person says to me “if you did it once, you can do it again”

And I feel like a failure.

And to top it all off, I just don’t wanna! I know how hard it was losing it all the first time and I just don’t want to put that kind of effort into weight loss again.

I’m perpetually stuck in Monday mode right now. “I’ll start Monday”. “One last doughnut and I’ll get back on track”. “Oh look dumplings”. FatGirl has won and successfully beat FitGirl back into the closet.

FitBloggin was a week ago. Have run this week? Nope. Have I eaten doughnuts? Yup.

I’m angry. I’m frustrated. And I really don’t know what to do. So that was my Fitbloggin, how was yours?

Holy handbags Batman! I got invited to a bloggers brunch hosted by SearsStyle at Bagatelle. Of course my first thought was “OMG OMG OMG OMG what on EARTH am I going to wear”.

Help me Gwynnie Bee, you’re my only hope!

Gwynnie Bee is my savior

Thank goodness I have a whole fashion team in my back pocket or else I would have declined the invitation.

The food was divine at Bagatelle and the Bilinis were non stop.

Bagatelle sweets

Seriously, after a half dozen my crazy inner FatGirl thought this jacket was a good idea. I have to say it’s cute and in theory could look good, but I think I’d look like I skinned a muppet.

Cute, but Muppet-ish

Sears set up a Jeans Bar and we were welcome to take a pair home! I was tempted to take these peach skinny jeans but they didn’t come in my size.

SearsStyle Jeans Bar

Peach Skinny Jeans?

Speaking of size, this was a showcase of the Kardashian line at Sears. The clothes were cute, but you would think that a girl with curves like Kim would design a line of clothing that would love your curves. Not so much. The size 14 jeans I choose are a wee bit too night, even in the calves.

Regardless, it was a lovely afternoon, so thanks Sears!

FitGirl: What should we have for dinner?

FatGirl: Bareburger.

FitGirl: Quinoa pilaf? Brown rice?

FatGirl: Bareburger.

FitGirl: No seriously. What are we having for dinner?

FatGirl: Bareburger.

FitGirl: C’mon, we can’t have burgers for dinner again. Salmon? Protein shake?

FatGirl: Bareburger.

FitGirl: For goodness sa….

FatGirl: Bareburger.

FitGirl: If you say “Bareburger” one more time…

FatGirl: Bareburger.

FitGirl: Look, I know Bareburger is tasty and organic, but..

FatGirl: I’ll buy you a milkshake.

FitGirl: Bareburger it is.

May I introduce Bareburger

Bareburger - Just your friendly neighborhood Burger joint, just bike on up!

A friend dragged me to Bareburger about a month ago. OK, fine. “Dragged” is a wee bit forceful.  Let’s go with “enthusiastically suggested and I capitulated”. Look at me with the SAT words! I’m not a big burger fan, not because I don’t like burgers but because when I want a good burger, 9 times out of 10 I’m totally disappointed in what arrives on my plate. She added “They’re organic by the way” to entice me further. And I’ll admit, I rolled my eyes at that. As a marketeer, I see “organic” tossed around with little care and used mostly to justify a price mark up. Yeah, I’m a bit biased, but more on that in a second…

So, we go to Bareburger on 31st Ave in Astoria. All the employees were so nice, it was almost uncomfortable. In New York, you sort of get used to pleasant but brisk and efficient service. Our server chatted with us like we were real human beings, like folks from the neighborhood, while also providing pleasant and efficient service. We had a 10 minute conversation about burlesque hair styles while we waited for our dinner. I began to feel there was something a little bit different about Bareburger.

"Bare-y nice to meet you!" Get it? Very... Bare-y... yuk yuk

It was all over the moment my burger and onion rings arrived.

Remember when I said that 9 out of 10 times I’m totally disappointed in my burger experience because it never lives up to my expectations? All burgers will now have to live up to the standard Bareburger created for me.

Picture... 1,000 words... you get the drift.

So, the service and vibe in Bareburger is exceptional and the food will make you an instant fan. But there was still something nagging at me.

Good vibes at Bareburger, cool and cozy

The whole “organic” thing. It’s hard for me to get past seeing it as anything but a marketing gimmick. Like my favorite coffee place features “organic” coffee. OK great, that’s awesome right? But the milk they serve for your organic coffee is not organic. So what’s the point of having one and only one element of your meal being organic when it’s overwhelmed by all the non-organic ingredients? It’s like what’s the point of having a diet Coke with your 3,000 calorie Blooming Onion? Sorry, I’m a bit soap-boxy about all this.

See, I WANT to fall madly, head-over-heels in love with Bareburger. I WANT to believe that its NOT a gimmick, and cheerlead the cause.

Keepin' an eye on things

So, I went to the source – Owner, founder, creator Euripides Pelekanos.

EP, as he signs his emails, shared that the ideas behind Bareburger started almost by accident. In 2001, EP opened Sputnik, a live music and art venue in Brooklyn. They served food, but food, while not quite an afterthought, wasn’t what Sputnik was about. Until they put an organic burger on the menu. Now, this was before burgers became the new cupcake, before Five Guys and Shake Shack showed up in NY, before burgers were cool and trendy. People started hitting up Sputnik just for the burgers and the music and art started to come second. In that moment, Bareburger began to take shape.

“But there was one thing that didn’t make @#$%’ing sense”, (Sidenote – Hanging out with EP is like hanging out with that kid you grew up in the neighborhood with, straight forward and very personable, relaxed but really passionate. He kept apologizing for cussing. It was cute). “It just doesn’t make sense to have an organic burger and then pile it with non-organic toppings.”

Hello Mind Reader!

“Organic isn’t just a trend, it’s where the food industry is going”. EP had me consider that all the processed, mass produced, factory food we grew up on was driven by big business in the 50s. World War II ended, the Baby Boom was on. We changed how we lived and what was important to us. We stopped shopping at local markets and started going for convenience and speed. Organic is now becoming big business and will (heck, already is) change the way food is produced and consumed. Now hold that thought…

Bareburger opened in 2009 in a TINY 1000 square foot former bakery that had been closed “forever”, EP says. And he would know as he, and the other owners of Bareburger, all grew up in Astoria. Back in those days, (yeah I know, “3 years ago” is not an eon but things can change really rapidly in NYC neighborhoods) Astoria didn’t have a lot of “fancy” food. You had your typical local restaurants, heavy on the Greek flavors, being an old immigrant neighborhood, but you wouldn’t find many foodie blog write ups about Astoria. Doing a fancy hamburger in a working class neighborhood was risky enough, adding the organic element was nail-biting. EP says they did ZERO advertising except for an 8 1/2 X 11 printout in the window saying “Bareburger. Organic Burgers. Opening June 12, 2pm”. On opening day, with EP in the kitchen, they expected 5 or 6 people at the door. About 60 showed up at 2pm. After a bit of a bumpy start, they knew they hit a nerve. Three years later, the 11th Bareburger will open very very soon in an undisclosed location (Yup, I know where it is, and Nope I’m not telling), and EP joked that they’ve probably served over a million burgers.

And now back to Big Business… EP said that sourcing ingredients and staying profitable can be a challenge when you’re talking organic and all natural ingredients. It’s a challenge on both the farmer’s side of things and the buyer’s side. Licenses and certifications are expensive, then there’s shipping, storage, and probably a bazillion things I’m not even thinking about. “Once you start dealing in volume, costs come down and you have greater control over the product”. Then we talked bacon. Ah, bacon, it always comes back to bacon. EP shared how, because of the volume Bareburger deals in with soon-to-be 11 shops, he can get suppliers to craft products just for Bareburger like special cut, cured and smoked bacon.

At Bareburger it's all about the ingredients

Bareburger wants to have that one-on-one relationship with their suppliers so they know exactly what they are buying. Why? Because they want YOU to know it too. Each table has an FAQ that gives you, in almost overwhelming details, the fat percentages, origin, chemical usage, certification of pretty much everything on the menu. It’s rather impressive.

Guardians of the FAQ

That little FAQ sheet will also tell you that Bareburger is about as green as you can get without building from the ground up. They use recycled vinyl for their booths, reclaimed wood for the tables, and recycled and re-purposed furnishings wherever they can. Again, EP noted how absurd it is to serve organic food on petro-chemical plastics. Bareburger has seen some crazy growth, but you probably won’t see Bareburgers popping up in your local mall. It’s a Main Street, neighborhood kind of joint. Manager Steve told me that one of the things he loves about working on 31st Ave is that it is a neighborhood, all the shop owners are buddies rather than competitors. “Its like you can go next door and borrow a cup of sugar if you need to”.

Green, sustainable and organic are not gimmicks

Yeah, I know your thinking “hey, this is weird, Amy isn’t talking about how delicious the food is”. Just trust it’s crazy pants delicious, but for god sakes, what ever you do, do not have a milkshake. That’s right, step away from the milkshake. Just back off, alright. I will go all Mr. Blonde on you if they are out of vanilla ice cream because you ordered the last vanilla milkshake. Just sayin’ – alls fair in love and war and milk shakes.

I'm not sure they have enough ice cream

OK, so you know the food is beyond good, the service is top notch, and they are organic as part of the fabric of the company. But this is what sealed the deal for me:

No, you can't have a bite.

I asked EP about the logo – what the heck is up with a bear riding a unicycle with a beer and a burger in its hands. He smiled and said “Why not a bear riding a unicycle with a beer and a burger in its hands? Look, after a couple drinks, it seemed like a good idea and it just stuck.”

Sold.

Why not indeed

I don’t know why, but right now, Veggies (and their buddies, Fruit) and I are not on speaking terms.

No, wait, I do know why. Life has been stressful lately, I’m dealing with a lot of stuff and damnit, Mac and Cheese just makes me feel better.

The only problem is that it doesn’t.

Crazy Inner FatGirl runs the show when things get rough. She moans and whines and complains like this:

Look, things are rocky right now. Making a salad is just too involved and takes forever to eat. A box of Mac and Cheese takes like 42 seconds and it will hit the spot. We just don’t have time for blending a smoothie or cooking up a piece of fish. Blech. Hey look, French Bread Pizza is on sale and all you have to do is pop it in the oven. Let’s just eat and get back to work, mmmkay?

So yup, I’m in junk-food-carbo-loading mode like I’m a 14-year-old boy, eating all the things I shouldn’t be.

And the kicker is, I know eating this way doesn’t make me feel good. I feel like a sloth, my skin is all gross and I’m so low-energy that getting out of my Hello Kitty jammies seems like a Herculean effort.

While at the market last night shopping for the aforementioned French Bread Pizza, I spied these little gems.

Know what these are?

Do you now what they are? I first encountered these ruby gems traveling to Asia with my family like 30 years ago (OMG, I did I just say “30 years ago”. Holy Handbags, when did I get old?).  Eating them always fills me with this child-like glee, that feeling of discovery and adventure you have when EVERYTHING you encounter is new and exciting. And that got me thinking… what if I approached every meal with the excitement of discovery? What if, instead of leaning on well known comfort foods (let’s get real about that, it’s not comfort food, it’s “numb” food, things to eat in hopes you don’t feel things, but alas, that’s a different post), I started eating exciting foods? What if I started looking forward to meals?

Now that’s an interesting idea.