DubyaWife’s snarkyness caught my attention on Twitter. Then she had to go a throw her own little Whine and Cheese party about how she was NOT a runner, even tho she was training for a 5K. Once we got THAT nonsense resolved and she declared herself a RUNNER, THIS is what became possible.
OMG What am I doing by Dubya Wife
The EXACT moment DubyaWife turned IMpossible to I'Mpossible
I hardly slept the night before. New town, new people, new bed. This whole Fitbloggin thing was new to me, but I was excited. I rustled in the bed switching from side to side, hoping not to wake up my roommate.
Get some sleep, DubyaWife, you’re gonna need it.
Finally after trying to think of happy things… rainbows… fairies… unicorns pooping cupcakes… my eyes shut and I was out. What seemed a moment later, the alarm clock ran, and I jumped out of bed eager to get on my running clothes. I’m not sure why I was so eager but the nervous anticipation had me racing around like a rabbit in heat.
See DubyaWife, you CAN run! FatGirl told you so!
I made my way downstairs, across the lobby where I began to hear the chitter chatter of peoples.
Oh my gosh, all these people are here.
The nervousness set in more.
More people to watch my struggle, more people to pass me by. More people to watch me fail.
I’d always imagined my first 5K to be at home, locally. Not in Baltimore. Perhaps running with my sister or my brother, who kept pace with me and encouraged me on. All the while I was knowing that family and friends waitied at the finish line, ready to hug me, to give me a high-five, to cry with me.
This would not happen.
I was a face among a crowd. I was in a strange city with strange people. Only very few of them knew my 9 month struggle. Would they know what this was worth to me? Would they keep pace with me? Would they cheer for me?
We made our way down to the starting line. Nerves set in as a jumped up and down in place.
I am so nervous. Omg, What am I doing!? WHAT AM I DOING!?!
I had been training since September of 2009. I’ve had a popped bursa sac in my right knee, stress fractured in my left knee, and up until this point hadn’t run 3.1 miles at all. I hadn’t actually ever done this. I was petrified…. and yet, excited at the same time.
Off we go, down the harbors of Baltimore. There were many turns and streets we had to navigate, but I had some friends who were right there with me.
“We’ll keep pace with you, go as fast or as slow as you need us to.”
Right. Great. Breathe. Slow.
As I went I listened to their conversation as they effortlessly talked during their run. Envious a bit, I pushed the thought out of my brain. It’s not about being like them. It’s about completing this race. One 5K – jogging the whole way.
My feet pounded. My arms swayed. My breathing rhythmic.
I can’t do this. Eventually I’ll start walking. And then I’ll hate myself for it. I may be running now, but it wont last… just like all the times before.
Get that thought out of my head. Get it out right now. Remember what your friends said. Slow pace, focused breathing. Checklist of your body. If you’re not injured, about to throw up, or close to fainting, keep going. Once foot in front of the other. One stride at a time.
And so I kept going. I kept running. Across wooden docks with the salty, fishy sea air. Across cobbled streets with Old American architecture-like houses. A gray haze was over the sky that day, no sun, so that’s good. Perfect weather. Perhaps this is the ideal situation for my first 5K.
My heart is pounding… My lungs are having difficulty breathing in and out… And every time I cough it feels like my throat is on fire. I can’t do this. I’ll finish this portion and then walk.
One foot in front of the other, DubyaWife. Focused.
We get to the half way point… or at least close to the halfway point. I get excited to see that I’m halfway done.
I’m only halfway done!?!? Hell no, I’ll never make it through this. I’ve gone only halfway and I feel like I’m dying. My heart rate is through the roof. Only halfway!!!
Keep going. One stride and then the next. Focused breathing. Listen to your friends conversation. It will distract you. They are here with you. They are running with you. Look at your friends as they give you high-fives for making it half way. They support you. They want you to succeed, and you do too. You can do this. Keep going. I find my friend FatGirlsCanRun. She says she wants to run part of the race with me. I’m inspired.
And so I keep running, making our way back. I can’t talk and jog at this point, it’s too difficult. The crowd is more sparse now. Only me and my two running friends. But they’re here with me, they won’t leave me. I run beside another friend who seems to be struggling. We focus our breathing together. It helps me, I hope it helps her too.
I stride. I stride and I stride and I stride. We’re getting close at this point. I look up and see the hotel that is our starting point. That’s gives me some hope.
Omg, it’s so far away. I’ll never make it to that building. It’s so very far away.
I keep going. I feel like I may cough up my lungs. Back through the same path, twists and turns, salty harbor air, with wet ground beneath as my feet labor with each step.
I feel heavy. My legs are heavy. I want to give up.
The hotel is getting closer. I can see that I’m closer now.
I’m almost done now, I can just walk the rest of the way… I should just walk…
I want to run in! I want to run in and know that I finished it the way I started.
You can’t do it.
Yes I can. Yes I will.
A couple more steps. A frog develops in my throat. Tears fill up my yes. I see the corner where we started, but no one’s there.
See, there’s no cheer. Your family isn’t here. No one’s there.
I turn the corner. I stop. I look up as my lungs finally start to breathe.
And I’m bombarded with cheers… with hugs… with high-fives… with pictures. With smiles. I sob (and almost hyperventilate) cause I’m so happy.
I look up at the sky….
You did it. You did it. Be proud. You did it.
I smile from ear to ear as I grab my phone and call my husband.
Me: “Baby, I did it! I ran a 5K!”
Dubya: “That’s great!”
Me: <sobbing> “I can’t believe I did it, I ran the whole thing!”
Dubya: “I’m so proud of you!”
Me: “Oh I wish you were here, everyone’s cheering.”
Dubya: “I wish I were there too. I’m proud of you. Congrats, baby!”
And so something I thought was impossible was possible. Through the power of positive thinking and a little help with my friends.
Dubya: “Now get off the phone baby and breathe, you sound like you’re about to die. Ha!”
Special shout out to: @262milejourney @runningknitwit @shrinkinggretch who ran with me and of course @FatGirlsCanRun