Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

I’ve been hanging out in the metaphysical world lately. What the hell does that mean? I’ve been looking at how I think, what works in my life, what doesn’t, who I am as a human being. Whoa I know, big weighty stuff. But an un-examined life isn’t worth living right?

Say it with me class... "I LOVE my life!"

A lot of the stuff we drive ourselves crazy with just simply isn’t real. I mean, how many times have you looked at a fashion magazine and a little tiny part of yourself dies because you don’t look like that model on the cover? The crazy part of that is, THAT model doesn’t look like that either! She’s been ‘shopped into fantasy to uphold some lunatics idea of what sells stuff. Jumping off that soap box for a moment…

I’ve been taking a look at the conversations I have with people, the endless loop of monolgue that runs through my head, the actual words I use when talking about myself and my life. And it breaks my heart to say this, on the whole, it’s some pretty negative stuff. Sure, I have my moments where I think I’m awesome and can take on the world. And then there are moments that if I caught myself  saying these exact same things to a 5-year-old, I’d want to call Family Services and get that abusive nut arrested.

So, what if I could change the way I talked about my life, could that change the way I experience my life? I’m saying yes, and there’s tons of really interesting and juicy brain science to back that up not to mention 3,000 years of Buddhist teachings that show you exactly how to do that.

So these are the thoughts that have been rumbling around my little red head when a friend told me about this self-esteem class she took. One of the assignments was to say “I love my body” three time while looking in a mirror, three times a day (“even if it feels like a lie”). She said it completely shifted her relationship with her body. So that got me thinking…

If how you think, and how you speak actually create how you experience the world, what if I just started talking about the things I love about my life instead of the crappy parts that are going on. Yeah, the crappy parts are still there, and need to be dealt with, but what if I just stopped talking about them? Hmmmm…

So what do you love about your life? Even if things are really bleak, there’s something you love, the smell of your shampoo, the way the dog looks at you, the sound of your purse snapping shut. There are tons of little things I can draw on even when things are not looking good. I’ve had a rocky start to my day and yet, just now in the kitchen I cut open a vacuum-sealed package of coffee and I LOVE that moment when air rushes in and it goes from a solid block to a mushy mass in a heartbeat. I LOVE that!

So what do YOU LOVE about your life!?

1001 Reasons not to run

And FatGirl says:

I have too much work to do. I can’t run.

I just ate lunch. I can’t run.

It’s cold out. I can’t run.

I can’t find my socks. I can’t run.

OMG! What are you nuts? Look at the weather! I SIMPLY WILL NOT RUN IN THAT!!

I’m sitting at my desk listing all the reasons I shouldn’t go for a run. The murky mess that is out side being hitting the top of the list. I have back to back conference calls and only 45 minutes in between. Surely, not enough time to run. My list got longer and longer and longer.

Then my Inner FitGirl started chiming in.

You work from home so that you can run.

It’s not going to rain so you can run.

It’s 50 degrees, not cold at all to run.

No one is going to notice if your socks don’t match on your run.

And I realized, FitGirl was right. I can run. And run I did. Through the fog and muck…

FatGirl Rant:
You’ve got to be freakin kidding me! A half marathon?? What the hell did you register us for a half marathon for? Don’t you realize that’s 13 miles. Wait no, it is THIRTEEN POINT ONE MILES. Point ONE for god sakes. Do you know how much work will have to go into that. When the hell are we going to have time for that? Hm? Missy answer that. We have a long commute, a new job, this stupid class, we don’t have time for this nonsense. And I am so not waking up at the crack of dawn to go running or hit the gym. That’s stupid. THIRTEEN POINT ONE MILES. That is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.

Yup. Fat Girl is running a half marathon.

My life recently expanded. New job, new commute, an evening class, meeting with a client one night a week, and you know, trying to have a social life and stuff. And then of course that’s exactly when I decide to take on training for a half marathon. Noooooo, I couldn’t do a half when I was working part time and had no life! Of course not. I have to be super complicated. Obviously, out of the millions of people who train for endurance sports, or any sport really, contend with real lives that are real busy and they successfully complete there events, so intellectually I know that it is not IMPOSSIBLE.

But I’ve really had it in my head that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to wake up at 5am or earlier and work out. I’ve tired before with every good intention but somehow my crazy inner Fat Girl always won the Snooze Button Battle and I’d end up sleeping in.

Well now, I came to a moment of choice. There are things in my life I want. I want to work in NYC. I want to not be broke. I want to participate in this class. And I want to run a half marathon. Oh yeah, and its become crystal clear to me that I cannot function on less than 7 hours of sleep a night. I could sacrifice one of those things and have an easy life.

OR

I can make it possible to have it all. This is a blog about making the impossible possible after all. So the way to have it all is to get super intentional about life. And live it exactly how it needs to be lived. And that means getting up at 5am and running twice a week. That means making bold requests of friends, family and colleagues that we meet later and in a location where I can show up sweaty from the gym. That means standing up and saying “I need to be on this train so I can get 7 hours of sleep”.

And what makes all of this possible is that I have found and cultivated a deep commitment to myself and living an awesome life and I am no longer willing to settle for less. And if that means 5am runs, I’m going to make that possible.

Oh crap, my 15 mins of blog time is up. There’s oatmeal to eat! A train to catch! LIFE TO LIVE!