Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

So I got a new job. Had to turn my life upside down in 12 hours to take it. A major consequence of that is having to reschedule fitness plans and figure out how to start training for a half marathon AND work full time AND have a three hour commute, and you know, get laundry done and stuff.

Fat Girl has long used the “I’m too tired after work” excuse to not work out. Yeah, granted when you’re done with work at 9pm, that argument is valid. But what happens when you get home at 6:30?

So I proved today that it is possible to get home from work and get out for a run just before 7pm. Was it a good run? Not really. My legs were tired and I had an odd cramp in my foot. But the point is I did it. I proved that it is possible. And it just might be possible to train for a half marathon AND have a full time job.

Step 1 - Fat Girl's Guide to Feeling Like Crap and Avoiding Exercise

Fat Girl’s Guide to Feeling Like Crap and Avoiding Exercise.

The mission here, Folks, is to avoid exercise at all costs. We’re going to get crafty, subversive, sneaky and down right slippery. Your inner Fit Girl is a tough nut to crack. She LIKES working out – GASPS. I know, it’s hard to believe. I don’t know how anyone could enjoy working out. I mean seriously. You get all sweaty and smelly. You sweat. Ew gross! You get pimples on your nose. AND you have to wear work out clothes AND everyone will be looking at how big you butt is. This is unacceptable. Fit Girl doesn’t care about these things. She actually thinks its COOL when she gets soaked in sweat. Yuckie. So we’re going to have to employ some sneaky techniques to avoid exercise at all costs. And if we do this right and we’re really lucky, we’ll have endless bags of Cheese Doodles.

Step 1 – Fill you’re life with awesome exciting stuff.

This is the most crucial part. You have to get so busy with amazing stuff that you feel like you have no time to brush your teeth let alone take an hour to run or go to the yuckie gym. Keep saying YES to projects. Say YES to helping friends move or working on their websites. Say YES to extra work shifts. YES to everything and anything. You want to get your life scheduled down to the minute. It’s super important that you schedule phone calls first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. It’s ideal if you work with people in different time zones for maximum schedule SNAFUs. Oh and make sure you schedule only 20 minutes between appointments. Any thing more than that and Fit Girl might get in in a run.

Step 2 – Do not go to the grocery store.

Now that your life is full of awesome stuff, of course you won’t have time for the supermarket. For your inner Fit Girl, the supermarket is an adventure what with all the label reading and comparing light bread and whole wheat bread and normal good-ole-fashioned white bread. Seriously? How can you have a PB&J and whole wheat?? It’s like eating cardboard. Once you’re scheduled so tight, the only option is to use your gym time to go to the supermarket. “Oh, wait, instead of standing in line at the supermarket, we can just snack on hummus and chips at the handy convenience store. We’ll have time for salad tomorrow”. This is your mission – CONVINENCE. Taking an hour to cook and prep veggies is NOT convenient. Sure, if you invested an hour at the grocery store you’d be set for the week, but please refer back to Step 1. You’d rather be doing awesome stuff than shopping for carrots.

Step 3 – Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Embrace Tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ll have time to run. Tomorrow you’ll have time for the supermarket. Tomorrow you’ll have time to cook. Tomorrow you’ll eat healthy. Really get into Tomorrow Mode. Today you can have Cheese Doodles because TOMORROW you’ll be good.

Now, if you successfully implement Steps 1 through 3 for about a week straight, you’ll be low on sleep, you’ll have none of that endorphin nonsense from exercise and you’ll be well on your way to running your immune system into the ground thereby catching a cold. Then it’s Golden Time! When you have a cold, ice cream for breakfast is totally appropriate! Now go out there, Folks and do your best to avoid exercise!!

So I busted my butt yesterday (literally. Note to self, get a more comfy bike seat before Fat Girl stages a revolt). I did my morning run (2.5 miles). And then I biked to and from work. I even did laundry. BodyBugg told me I burned almost 3500 calories for the day. And yet, I step on the scale this morning and it tells me I’m up 2pounds. 2 whole spiffy squishy pounds. I’m not all crazed about it or anything but after a really physical day AND staying well within my target calorie zone, it would be nice if the scale cooperated. Tomorrow is my Weight Watcher’s weigh in day. Blah, I haven’t been in a two weeks so I hope it’s not too bad.

I have to say, I’m a little fond of seeing the 3000 number in my calorie burn on my BodyBugg. Burning that many calories is a lot of work. I did it yesterday because I biked to work. I’m biking today too, I’m excited to see what happens.

Just before I headed out this morning for my run, I saw a flurry of tweet from people going out on their long runs – 16 miles seemed to be popular today. I got to my 3 mile mark and Holy Shin Splints Batman! My inner Fit Girl busted out some serious pom pom action!

We can CRUSH 4 miles! It’s just down and around the block and back. Go for it! DOOOOO IT!!!!!

So today I ran 4.37 miles in 52:49 at a pace of 12’05″ buring 623 calories.

A note from Fat Girl

Dear Amy, I know you think it’s cute biking to work. Yeah yeah, you’ve told me before about commuting to work on a bike every day for three years. Oooo look at you, all fit and green and what not. Blah Blah yadda. But I’m not sitting on that seat anymore. My lady parts are still sore. Get a new seat or I quit. Love, Fat Girl xo

Whoa Nelli. I did not realize how hot it was until I was about half a mile into my run. The sun was piercing and it actually hurt. And of course you know I didn’t have on any sunscreen. I found myself from one pool of shade to another.

Two lessons to learn:

• Be aware of the weather and plan accordingly
• DRINK WATER STUPID

About 2 miles into my run, I look at my watch. Oh poo. I didn’t realize how late is was. I’m still thinking it’s 9am. I have to make lunch and do laundry before I head out to work this afternoon. I really have to do laundry. REALLY. I’m running in a t-shirt that’s an XXLarge and shorts that, well, let’s just say if I did some side lunges to stretch out my inner thighs, I’d be featured on TMZ next to Lindsay and Brittany. So I have no clean running clothes left, that’s what I’m saying. I may not even have clean work clothes. That’s problematic. I’m coming up to a point on my route where I can shortcut home, making my 3 mile run a 2.5 mile run. Should I head home, and do laundry? Is that being responsible or a wimp because it’s hot and I don’t want to run anymore?

I walk for a bit to take an inventory of what’s really going on. Am I using laundry as an excuse to go easy on my work out? Is this a tricky trick of Fat Girl to be lazy.

No. Here are the facts -

I’ve already run 15 miles this week. I’m biking to and from work today and tomorrow. It’s not like I’m sitting on my butt eating bon bons. 2.5 miles is a totally respectable distance to run.

So I headed home. Laundry Load One is in the works. Lunch will get made shortly and I still ran 2.67 miles in 33:30 at a pace of 12’30″ burning 381 calories.

Woke up WAY late today which means I’m in a schedule squeeze. So I have to sacrifice something. Running or Housework or Job Hunting or something else.

I tweeted: @FatGirlsCanRun I woke up late, my schedule is looming, my to-do list is long… can I really squeeze in a run???

And the responses came flying in:

@katdoesdiets @FatGirlsCanRun you’ll feel better?

@SkinnySushi @FatGirlsCanRun YES! You’ll feel better if you do

@fitblogr @FatGirlsCanRun My mantra the past few weeks has been “someone who is busier than you is running right now.” It always gets me out the door

@katdoesdiets @FatGirlsCanRun I struggle with those choices often!

@ashleyjane36 @FatGirlsCanRun even a short one is better than one at all! It will give you more vigor and a clear had to tackle the to-do list!

@MyFitnessGuy @FatGirlsCanRun YOU CAN DO IT!!!! lol

And on and on and on.

So you know what? I got on my sneaker and got out of my jammies and RAN

I ran 2.3 Miles in 25:28 at a pace of 11’03 burning 328 calories.

OH OH! And Lance Armstrong came on at the end of my workout via Nike+ to tell me I recorded a new personal best for the mile! 10’54″. How ’bout that?

Alas, if the only thing I had to combat was a crazy fictional Fat Girl that lives in my head, I might make it through OK. But I’ve been managing a super heavy schedule for the past couple months. I’ve been working with the new bright and shiny concept that if it’s important to you, you schedule, actually write it down in like a planner and stuff, and then, OMG, you do it. I know, it’s a crazy idea right? Actually doing what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. It’s been a revelation.

I’ve had days where every hour is scheduled from 9am till 10pm. And yes, I’ve been a good girl and factored running in that day. But what happens if Mr. SmartyPants decides he’s going to grace us with a story of this childhood imaginary friend and a meeting that was supposed to be a half hour goes to a mind-numbing hour? I cut something from my day and the first thing I cut is running time. Those are days I feel like a orange as it stares down the squeezing machine at the juicing plant. Gulp.

So I’m going to try a new strategy for next week – Scheduling an hour for running and an hour for knitting (Yeah, that’s right I knit. Ain’t that quaint?). This way, if my life squeezes me, I can tease out extra time that won’t effect my running program.

Ah ha! Crazy Fat Girl AND Generalissimo Schedule Beaten!