Posted by Amy | Posted in Mind Games | Posted on 16-05-2011
And the Crazy Fat Girl that lives in my head says:
I can’t wear that because I’m afraid that people will think my butt looks fat in those jeans.
I will only run at night because I’m scared people will laugh at me.
I’m gonna scarf this cupcake in the bathroom because I know some one will think oh she shouldn’t be eating that.
I’m totally not talking to that hot guy because he’s going to think I’m fat and ugly.
Do you notice a pattern here? There’s this voice in my head that stops me from being the person I want to be, from being the person I am, because I’m afraid of what people are going to think, say or do.
Here’s the tricky part – I don’t actually know what people are thinking. That voice in my head is making it all up. I don’t know that the guy I’m afraid to talk to won’t like me because well, I’m scared so I won’t talk to him so I’m never going to know. My head just assumes that is what’s going to happen so it becomes so real for me that this make-believe fear just cripples me and I end up taking no action.
And let me take this fear ride one step further – Say I ditch all the negative voices in my head and be who I am and who I want to be, there’s a fear that I can’t live up to that. I want to live an awesome life and make a difference for people, and what if I can’t. What does it say about me?
You know what it says about me? Nothing. It means nothing until I CHOOSE to give it meaning. And since I’m apparently making it all up in my head anyway, I can make it mean ANYTHING.
I’m really tired of that. I’m tired of being afraid of things that aren’t real. I’m tired of backing out of life. So hold on to your shoelaces people, fear doesn’t own me anymore.
What are YOU afraid of? What does fear stop you from doing? And are you ready to give it up with me?