Impossible is a typoRunning my pants off and loving myself along the way

I’ve spent a bit of time out of the digital world to come back to a mini bruhaha over this Marie Claire piece. Maura Kelly writes that she’s disguisted about seeing fat people making out on television.

I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything.

First thing, she doesn’t even watch the show so, I’m a bit ticked off at that.

She also says:

And while I think our country’s obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it’s at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity!

And finally:

What do you guys think? Fat people making out on TV — are you cool with it? Do you think I’m being an insensitive jerk?

Yeah, you are being an insensitive jerk, but you know what? You have the right to be an insensitive jerk. That’s what free speech is all about, you can be as vile as you like, and be paid for it apparently. The author has apparently gotten enough hate mail to issue a retraction of sorts.

I would really like to apologize for the insensitive things I’ve said in this post. Believe it or not, I never wanted anyone to feel bullied or ashamed after reading this, and I sorely regret that it upset people so much. A lot of what I said was unnecessary. It wasn’t productive, either.

Yeah, it wasn’t productive. This would have been a great opportunity to talk about how media images of real people are totally screwed up and how the obesity epidemic in this country is affecting us. But she decided to go a different way. And because of that, people are raging, Marie Claire’s site stats are soring and Kelly will get the reputation of a writer who can command an audience. Job well done for securing an audience!

I’ve been looking at my food logs for the past couple of weeks. More of a half hearted review as my logs are not exactly complete. I am a big fat fibber after all. But I’ve noticed I’ve been eating a lot of pasta. Like sometimes 2 servings a day.

Here’s the thing. I love to cook, and have cooked professionally, but I’m not in a cooking head space. I want to just reach in the fridge and get something for lunch. AND I’m trying to be money and health conscious and not buy my lunches or dinners on days I have to work. But, being absent minded, I might only remember that I have to bring a meal, oh and hour or so before I have to head out the door.  So that means, I’m diving through the fridge and panty looking for something I can just toss together.

Oh look! There’s pesto from the farmer’s market, gotta use it before it goes bad! Oh hey! Left over roasted butternut squash? Well that would go just fine with the pesto and the gourmet handmade whole wheat pasta I picked up. Toss in a few frozen shrimp (Cook the pasta, scoop it out and then plop the frozen shrimp right in and its a one pot cooking adventure!). Voila! Bon Appetit!

Super delish right? Yeah, the only problem is, I’ve done that exact mean (with differing veggies) 3 or 4 times. 3 or 4 times a week. 3 or 4 times a week for THREE WEEKS.

I’m weighing out exactly 2 ounces of dried pasta per meal. That’s a proper serving so its not like I’m eating a whole pound of pasta for lunch. But because this meal is so simple and so tasty, it’s actually hard not to make it.

I’ve done the Atkins life where carbs are bad. I’ve done the veg/vegan life where you die without pasta. I’ve lost weight in both worlds, only to put it back on. Pasta is not a weight loss enemy, but I do think I’m relying far too heavily on it right now. I think moving to just veggies and protein for a while might ween me off my crutch of pesto and pasta.

What are your thoughts on pasta and weight loss?

I gained .8lbs at Weight Watcher’s this week. I worked hard at the gym, and my food for the week, while not the best, was certainly not terrible. Fat Girl resisted cupcakes and brownies left and right but did manage to sneak in crackers and butter and pizza rolls on occasion, but that’s another post.

Right after the weigh in, I put on this red shirt I got only 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago that shirt did that little button pucker over the belly but when I slipped it on, the shirt looked perfect. So perfect I had to take a picture of it.

The Red Shirt and the New Hotness

There’s more to weight loss than that stupid number on the scale.

Oh I also had a great run this morning. I ran 4.39 miles in 1 hour. How hot is that??

Fat Girl is running down the street, arms flailing, screaming “KING OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD!! Look Ma, no hands! That’s right, check out my butt! Thin ankles! Thin ankles! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

That right sportsfans, Fat Girl is high on endorphins. And it’s a scary scary world.

I’m a week and a half into the Finish Strong Training program at Big Al’s Gym. Since starting, I’ve done an hour long hard spin class to test for my heart rate threshold, 2 spin classes, 3 pilates classes, 1 weight class, 1 terrible step class, and I’ve run/walked 18.25 miles. And I feel fantastic. And Fat Girl feels fantastic.

My run today was great. I did 3miles in 37:44 at a pace of 12’51″. My legs felt light and airy and I could have run forever. As a matter of fact, I pushed hard the last three blocks, stopped my ipod, then went on for another mile or so at a nice relaxed pace. I feel like a king of the world.

It was a dark and stormy night. Ok. It wasn’t actually dark or stormy. Or night. But Crazy Inner Fat Girl was lurking about as if it was a dark and stormy night. She creeps on up to the hidden cash of chocolate like a ninja, her prey in sight. Just one wee little chocolate. No one will know. Peeking around the corner, Fat Girl slips a tiny chocolate in her mouth and pockets another. Ok, three more. The lights are out, no one is watching. SUCCESS! The calories won’t count!

Thus goes the secret snacking that never gets recorded and why my weight has been stuck in the 190s.

You see, I am a big fat fibber when it comes to snacking. A piece of cheese while I’m waiting for dinner to cook never gets recorded. The five crackers that go with the piece of cheese is ignored. And the existence of the little pat of butter on the aforementioned crackers and cheese is blinked away.

I might record the frozen yogurt I ate, but not the dark chocolate chips that go on top. I will write down the slice of bread I ate with my soup, but not the slice of bread with butter I ate while the soup was heating up. I’ll say I had lamb chops for dinner but there is no evidence of the teaspoon of mint jelly I had. OK 2 teaspoons. And I think the world might stop revolving if I actually made note of the coffee and creamer I have on a daily basis.

So why do I fib? It’s not like I don’t have the calorie budget to record 60 calorie piece of chocolate. It could be simple laziness. If I have that piece of chocolate, then I have to go to my computer, log in, search for the correct food item, click some buttons blah blah blah. Almost doesn’t seem worth the effort to eat the damn piece of chocolate.

So I’m starting a new week of total honesty with what I’m eating. Everything will get recorded. Everything, including the coffee and creamer. I’m working my butt off in the gym, and the few extra minutes it will take to log in my food for the day really shouldn’t be such a production. It will be an interesting experiment and should be quite eye opening.

So I’ve been very quiet in the digital world lately. No blog posts, no updates to Nike+ or DailyMile and all hush-hush on Twitter. I’ve been sick and even my inner Fat Girl has been quite. Just lots of laying about, trying to sleep.

AND my ipod decided to take a brief vacation under my bed and as we all know, no music means no working out. With the new program at the gym, there’s no excuses to work out, music or no.

And a brief pause for a Fat Girl Rant.

Seriously? You expect me to do hard, physical labor and get all sweaty and gross without music? An hour on the “dreadmill” with no Lady Gaga? Nuts you are! So fine, I drag myself to the gym, at least there’s TV on the treadmills and I can watch the news or something and wouldn’t you know it, all the TVs are down at the gym! This is madness!!!

So I toughed out a run with no music and no TV but I did have a heart rate monitor to keep me entertained. I ran 3miles in 42minutes. More on that later!